Dear Sage,
You are six months old today, half a year, one thirty-sixth of the way to going away to college (or whatever it is you want to do when you turn 18). There is something about this day that delineates your infancy for me, as though you’ve reached a tipping point, or an escape velocity. What I mean is you are becoming a real person. For the past six months you have been growing bigger and stronger, you’ve become more aware of your surroundings and the people who love you. You are rolling over, babbling and sitting up (mostly). But you are also so innocent, you have little understanding of the things around you and no way to control them. Recently, I have felt a change coming on, like wheels we have been spinning will gain traction soon.

Last night I was feeding you your night bottle and singing to you and although I could see you were very tired, your eyes kept popping open. I decided to close my eyes, hoping that you would see closed eyes and mimic it, and drift off to sleep. As I sat there with my eyes closed I realized that someday you will see my closed eyes and understand that I can’t see you. You might use the opportunity to pull a prank on me, or try to get away with something I told you not to do. Someday you’ll be sneaky, someday you’ll plan, and someday you’ll have motives and the ability to act on them, either stealing a cookie or stealing cash from my wallet. I don’t assume that you’ll be a trouble maker, but I don’t assume you’ll stay innocent forever either.

I opened my eyes and you hadn’t fallen asleep yet, and you saw me look at you, and you smiled a big goofy toothless grin, milk dribbling out of the corner of your mouth, and my heart swelled. You are so beautiful, and so genuine, and pure. You have no ulterior motives yet, you live in the moment, you are amazed by the world.

I know that this won’t last forever, and that the next stages of your broadening perspective will expose you to language and locomotion (and associated injuries). I know that you will learn the word “no”, and you won’t be afraid to use it. But you’ll also learn the word “why”, and that will be my opportunity to do my best to explain the world to you as you learn more and more what it means to be a human. I will be cautious in this endeavor, since there are many ways to explain the world, but only some that let the child keep their wonderful perspective. As an old professor Jules Engel used to say,

“It’s not what you give the students that’s important, it’s what you don’t take away”.

I ran across another great quote today:

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” – Roald Dahl.

Love,
Your Dad

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